Employees expect to work at their jobs. Students expect to work at school.
But when it comes to personal relationships, people don’t think they have to work at having a good relationship.
I suppose when you are dating, you do work to impress the other person. You do nice things for them to make them happy, say nice things so they will like you, and buy them nice things so they will think what a great person you are.
But after the initial stages of a relationship, how many couples continue to work on their relationship by doing nice things for one another?
I think married couples are especially guilty of not doing so. They get complacent, and expect things to be just fine without any effort. Afterall, you already showed your love for each other by getting married, right? So then, it doesn’t matter what you do, or not do. As long as you are not divorcing, your marriage is doing fine, is that right? Married people tend to think that taking out the trash or cooking dinner is their way of showing love. But the day-to-day chores have a tendency to overshadow everything else in the relationship. While those are practical expressions, the impractical and romantic gestures are neglected.
The work comes when you purposefully do something nice, say nice things, and buy something nice for your spouse, even though it is out of your way, even though you don’t feel like it, even though it is hard work. You work at being patient, being kind, being thoughtful and considerate when you would rather sit back and do something nice for yourself.
Yes, a relationship takes work.