Stuff That Matters In Life

I realize now what my mom had to go through.

I came from a family of 4 kids, with only a span of 6 years between us. My mother was a Stay-At-Home mom; we were her life. None of her own family lived near us, they were in other countries – Hong Kong, Australia, Canada. Without phone cards or Skype or email those days, she talked to her family a couple of times a year at best.

We left for college one after another, and within a few years, my mother was left with an empty nest. While none of us went very far for school, we left home, and never turned back.

My father, being a man without all those emotional ties to the kids like a mom, didn’t worry when he encouraged us to travel. Before I was 21, I went by myself to Japan, Taiwan and Hong Kong. My sister worked in Hong Kong for a year. My other sister married and moved to the Bay area. My brother went on hiking trips I don’t know where. I never talked to my mom about how she felt about all that.

As I am now experiencing letting go of my children, I realize how hard it must have been for my mom.

My son wants to travel and my daughter wants to go on mission trips. On the outside, I say to them, “Sure, go and have adventures. Do what God wants you to do. See the world and be a better person for it.” But on the inside I am saying, “You can’t go. You are too naive to handle the big world. I won’t be there with you to keep you away from dangers.”

Fortunately, unlike my mom, we have cell phone, email, webcams, Facebook and all kinds of communication devices to stay connected. And we have other mom blogs, forums and groups to share this experience with other moms.

Also unlike my mom, I have faith in God to know that He loves my kids more than I do, and they’ll be fine in His hands.

My job as mom with my 2 older children is pretty much done. I don’t need to drive them to school, or make them take their medicine, or do their laundry. The only thing I need to do, now more than ever, is to pray for them.