When I was single, many many moons ago, one of the most oft asked questions in any discussion was, “How do you know if this is Mr. Right (or Mrs. Right for the guys in our conversation)?”
I’ve finally figured out the answer. It’s a little late for me now. But maybe this will help you.
Mr. Right is: (same goes for Mrs. Right, just change the pronouns)
1. Someone who is not only nice to you, but nice to the waiter, the janitor, the garbage man. He is someone with a true heart for people.
2. Someone who is not a quitter. He’s gone through experiences where he stuck with something even when it was hard. He will stay with a job to provide for the family, he will stay in the marriage when it gets hard.
3. Someone who is flexible. While you want someone who sticks with things, you need someone who rolls with the punches. Life throws a lot of curve balls, and you want someone who does not get flustered with changes.
4. Someone who listens to you and asks you questions. Not only does this show he is interested in you as a person, it just gets tiring to be with someone who talks too much.
5. Someone who is not too sensitive or self-conscious. If he takes everything too personally, life with him will become a burden. You’ll be walking on egg shells trying to please him.
6. Someone who likes to do things. He has a sense of excitement for life, likes to learn and try new things.
7. Someone who has a positive outlook about life. Don’t marry a complainer or someone who sees the glass half empty. It’s a downer.
8. Someone who respects you. He thinks you are smart, he thinks you make good decisions, he thinks you are beautiful, he thinks you are good for him. If he thinks he is better than you, well, the problem with that is obvious.
9. Someone who has a good relationship with his parents. It’s consider sort of “modern” not to get along with parents these days, or that it has nothing to do with the marriage. But someone who has a good relationship with his parents is a good indication of how he fares in family life.
10. Someone who is generous, both with his time and resources. That is not to say that he spreads himself too thin, but that he is not selfish nor narcissistic.
11. Someone you respect. You think he is smart, you think he makes good decisions, you think he’s great looking, you think he is good for you.
12. Someone who desires to seek God with both his words and actions. He is a Christian not only at church, but a Christian wherever he is, even when he is by himself.
13. Someone who doesn’t have a lot of baggage and issues. You may think he is interesting for a while, but never pick someone you want to fix. He needs a counselor to do that, not a wife to be his counselor.
14. This one applies only to girls choosing a guy – someone who can support the family without your income and values you as the mother of his children. You need someone who supports you to stay home full time to raise your own kids instead of farming them out. You may not think it’s important now, but when you have to drop your baby off at the babysitter and have someone else spend more time with your baby than you do, you will think differently.
If that person fits all 13 or 14 as the case may be, plus a few other points that I might have missed, he is the right one.
And if you don’t have all 13 or 14 as the case may be…well, then you are not the right one for anyone. So don’t bother looking for anyone to fit your bill until you are ready to fit someone else’s bill.
Fortunately for me, I found Mr. Right! (Yes, dear, I love you too!)