Every time I’m asked to speak, I get very excited about it. I often think I have knowledge about the topic, plus I do more reading and research about it, and I feel confident.
Then as soon as I think I’ve got a handle on the topic, I begin to feel like I know nothing. How can I be so arrogant to think that I know something? Have I lived my life according to the principles I’m teaching? (That’s a rhetorical question.) Am I wasting people’s time, an hour of their life they’ll never get back?
Every time I teach, I am humbled. It drives me to examine myself, and be convicted of my own shortcomings. I am no expert, I’ve made many mistakes, I haven’t lived up to what I’m preaching.
I am once again begging for mercy from God, and turn to totally rely on Him.
Lest anyone thinks teaching is easy for me – because to me standing and talking in front of an audience is the easy part – the inner work of exposing my own weaknesses is the hardest of all in teaching.
Every time I teach, I do it with fear and trembling.
(I am preparing to teach 5 times in the next several weeks. Pray for me.)
October 21st, 2011 at 6:25 am
I found your blog because I am doing some research for my class on Monday that I teach for the women’s group at my church. I totally hear what you are saying — teaching is such a humbling experience. For me, though, I struggle with getting up in front of the audience, not so much of the exposing of myself. Anyway, I pray the Holy Spirit would descend upon you, that you would be completely enraptured by His voice, His Word, His love, as you plan and teach.
October 24th, 2011 at 4:30 pm
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement!