A simple act of kindness I saw made me realize how weak I am in living up to my value system.
Here’s the scene:
I attend an exercise class at the senior center 3 times a week. The room is packed wall-to-wall with about 80 people, mainly because the price is right – it’s a free community class. Attendees range from age 50-95 – my guesstimate – the average age maybe 65. The instructor is well over 50, maybe closer to 60. It’s a good way for me to start the day with stretches and slow pace aerobics.
Lest you think these are harmless seniors*, the atmosphere actually resembles a junior high school. Everyone jockeys for position in the limited-size room. While it’s suppose to be first-come first-serve, all the regulars have an unspoken reserved spot. Try standing at someone else’s regular spot and you will feel the wrath of a mean stare, whispers behind your back and maybe even a reprimand “This is my spot!”, meaning “Move! And go find a place in the back!”
However, once class starts, your place is secure. Late comers have no claim to their spot, and no one moves a foot to accommodate.
Here’s the few seconds event that powerfully changed the way I think:
We’re 10 minutes into the exercise and in walks a very slow, my guesstimate, 82 year old lady. Her regular spot has been taken and I took a glance around thinking, “Where is she going to fit in?” Now as the reader, before you read further, what are you thinking at this point?
Here’s what happened: Without hesitation, my friend in front of me kindly waved the lady over to take her spot, while she squeezed herself in the back corner.
The incident took less than 10 seconds had me humbled in shame.
Shame on me – not only did I not offer my spot, but that thought didn’t even occur to me – and that’s what bothers me. Had I even struggled with giving up my place, I think I would’ve done what my friend did. I’m probably 30 years younger than this lady, she belonged in the class more than I did, and still I had no thought of giving up my spot.
The fact that I didn’t think of it as a possibility showed me how conditioned I am by my environment. I adopted the mindset of the masses that we must protect our turf, we play by certain rules…and I couldn’t think outside of that.
Now if the teacher had made an announcement and asked if anyone would give up their place, I know for sure I would have done it. What does this say about me? So I keep thinking of this incident and analyzing myself.
I hate it that my actions are determined by the values set by my environment rather than what is right. I couldn’t react outside the box because I was conditioned by my environment. Compassion didn’t come to me naturally if it wasn’t somehow built into the system. And it’s decent people like me that contributes to what’s wrong in the world today.
And it made me once again look to Jesus and love him, because his life was above and beyond what anyone would’ve expected.
He gave up his spot for me, and much more.
*Note: I am exaggerating a little about the seniors. They are really a nice bunch and I’ve made some friends there. But they are possessive of their exercise spot.