Stuff That Matters In Life

If I was not a Christian, I would miss out on the life of the church. The church is a big part of a Christian’s life. Church should not be the only thing in a Christian’s life, but it is a big part. Church may look different in different cultures, but the love and unity would be the same.

I am blessed to be a part of our church community where we experience love and unity, This is especially evident in our young married couples group where we serve as mentors. The couples are so loving, open, and fun. They mentor me as much as I mentor them. We met today and it was very encouraging.

We only got 45 minutes of Perspectives class today because we had to leave for the group. I want to read my homework, but my mind is full. I think taking a shower and having some quiet time with God would be a good way to end this joyful day of Sabbath.

Uttering a few words of prayer doesn’t seem like much. Even if it was heartfelt, passionate, deep, long – whatever “good” prayer looks like, do those words make a difference?

The obvious answer from any devoted Christian is yes. But why? How do words I say translate into changes in real life?

Logically speaking, prayer doesn’t make much sense. It may make us feel better, it may relief some stress, etc. but it doesn’t make sense that saying some words to God can do anything in the material world.

I read this in Truth78 today and it made sense:

Bottom line—prayer matters! . . . It matters because God is pleased to accomplish His unstoppable purposes through the prayers of His people. 

In a mysterious way, God himself provided a way in which He would use our words said to him to accomplish his purposes.

If you were to ask someone for a favor, especially someone in high authority, you would be wise to prepare a nice speech. But with prayer to the Creator of heaven and earth, it matters not how you say it, who it’s said by, all ages, all language, any form – amazing how prayer works!

We take it too lightly.

ughhh, the floral wire I bought was cheaper at Michaels and I wouldn’t have had to wait for it to be shipped! I love both Amazon and Michaels, but now I love Michaels more. Especially because they gave me a $5 off coupon, which I used today.

Went kumquat picking with Elliot and Nancy, and then dinner. Good time hanging out and talking. Learned about Andrew Yang and Milton Friedman from Elliot.

The day is too short. I want to read my Perspectives.

I’m not good with details. I don’t like to plan things. I used to do ok with it, but now I get stressed out planning things.

But I want to invite people to my house, I want to be hospitable because the Bible says so. It’s a way invite people in to build relationship and a better environment for conversation than a restaurant.

I invited a few people over for dinner after Perspectives class tonight. I decided dinner doesn’t have to be fancy, my house doesn’t have to be perfect, my plates and cups don’t have to match. That’s just pride for me if those externals look great. I don’t want my deficiency in details hinder me from exercising hospitality.

We had great sharing, telling each other what God has done and is doing in our lives. And that’s all that matters.

I was able to attend worship service today and left it to the very wonderful volunteers to run Children Worship. It is still hard for me to focus because I’m looking around to see who is there, who I need to talk to, thinking about what I need to do after. I’m working on getting back to the heart of worship – it’s all about Jesus.

I feel accomplished today.

I made a wreath that I’ve been wanting to do for a while. Walked up the street to a corner house with a cypress bush I’ve been eyeing. In broad daylight I cut some branches. It’s a big bush, on a corner slope, I’m sure no one cares. Crafting the wreath was fun, I enjoyed working on it while listening to a Family Life podcast on marriage with Crawford Loritts.

I decided I should do more things that spark joy in my life.

Why does this world have to operate on “no pain no gain”? Why can’t it be true that “cheesecake is really good for you”?

Most of my problems are because I don’t exercise. I haven’t done anything to fulfill my new year resolution to exercise. I put that resolution down every year, and nothing motivates me. I don’t like any of the options open to me, because they all take effort. My sister says if I pay for gym membership I’ll go to get my money’s worth…but it didn’t work. I can go play badminton at church on Thursdays which I enjoy, but I enjoy staying at home to read more. And it doesn’t help that my husband doesn’t want to exercise either. And he needs to, he has high blood pressure.

Other than going out to cut the cypress branches, I was home all day. Spent an inordinate amount of time reading about different essential oils! If it wasn’t for the invention of the internet, I’d probably go outside more.

Another great Awana night. What makes it good are the volunteers. They not only get the job done, but does it with enthusiasm, joy, going the extra mile. And the true test of a dedicated volunteer is that they would do it again, and again and this team does! I am blessed to be a part of this team.

Worked at home today, but it’s not comfortable because the dining table and chair is not ergonomically set up for working on my laptop. I like my office at church with a big window.

I’ve not heard of this term of being “woke” or “wokeness” until I read this. Very well written. It makes me want to cry.

I’ve been feeling “off” the last couple days. Yesterday, I couldn’t remember my routine for going to prayer meeting – something I go to every Wednesday. What time do I normally leave the house? Where do I usually park? Where did I put my gloves? Where are my keys? I pride myself on remembering people, names and details. Right now I feel like my brain is mush. I remember things but it’s like a fog. It’s not that I don’t remember anything, it’s a strange feeling I don’t know how to describe. Then I worried that I have a stroke or a blood clot or something…which then the worrying makes me anxious…and the anxiety makes me unable to think…and I worry that I can’t think…it’s a vicious cycle. Thank God for sleep. Now I know why God created our need and ability to sleep. His mercies are new every morning. Each day is a new day. I don’t have to continue to worry. I can sleep and rest, and refocus my trust in the God of the universe.

On the positive note, I bought some floral wire on Amazon, it’ll be delivered tomorrow. I’m excited to make a wreath. Watched some how-to videos on YouTube. I need something creative to do. I think I’ll go to Michael’s for fun. Have not been there for a while, afraid that I would spend money on a project that I won’t finish. I’ve been too serious lately, too much thinking…I wonder if I would be relaxed if I was retired. But I love my job and I would volunteer anyway. But a volunteer can always punt it to the children’s director…which is me right now…

A big part of my digestion problem is anxiety. I noticed that my acid reflux has been ok until yesterday when I got worried about my brain. So silly. Need to spend time with God instead of online shopping on Amazon and Nordstrom Rack! And I don’t even like shopping, but that’s not really shopping, is it?

Heavy rain today. So don’t tell me to take short showers because of drought.

From yesterday, 2/13/2019

It was my turn to share in staff devo today. I shared about what I learned in Perspectives about prayer as an act of spiritual violence. Prayer pushes back the spirit of darkness and the devil’s work on earth.

I felt a bit hypocritical talking about prayer because I am not one of those who prays for a couple hours a day. My hero is George Mueller who is known for his prayer life. I shared about prayer not because I’m good at it. It was a lesson in Perspectives that spoke to me because I was convicted of my own weakness in prayer.

Staff meeting today was another interesting one. I’m thankful for the open honest discussion.

I always have high expectations that I’d get a lot of things done on Mondays. It’s my day off, I can clean the shower, clean the garage, clean the dresser, do some yard work..and I usually do none of those things…

Instead we go to Costco  to buy stuff instead of cleaning out stuff. When my husband goes to Costco by himself, he gets out with less than $50 of purchases. When we go together, it’s always over $100, he says it must be me that’s buying stuff. It’s true. I don’t like shopping but Costco is not really shopping, is it? It’s practical items, always useful or edible.

The weather was perfect after the rain, but other than walking in and out of Costco, I didn’t take advantage of the day. At the end of Mondays, I always feel I should’ve made better use of the day when it’s wide open to do whatever I want. Time is my life. Every minute that passes is getting me closer to death with less time to do the things I want to do…I’ve been thinking a lot like this since my birthday. A friend said we need to KonMari our time. Don’t do the things that are not important, focus on what is worth our time. Cleaning house is one of those things that’s not important.

I look forward to coming home everyday to read my Perspectives homework. There is such a satisfaction in finishing the reading for the week, and gaining so much insight about the Great Commission in ways I have not thought of. And I thought I knew the Great Commission.

At church today:

Me talking to a 2nd grade boy: I’m not punishing you, I just want to help you worship God, and i think you can focus on God better if you didn’t sit next to your friend M. Where would you like to sit so you can focus on God? Would you like to sit with another friend?

Boy: I think it’s ok if a teacher sits between me and M.

I’m so impress with his maturity to come up with a good solution. And he was indeed very attentive during worship.

This is what keeps me in children ministry. There is great satisfaction of seeing children grow in wisdom and stature, in favor with God and man.

I don’t normally fall asleep during lectures, but today in Perspective class, I drifted off here and there…it was no fault of the speaker. He was excellent! But the room was warm, the lights dim, his voice was mellow, it was 2 in the afternoon, the chair were soft…despite his jokes to keep us awake, I couldn’t help nodding off. I am really enjoying the class, really I am. Very challenged by it.

Rarely do we go to Downtown LA. And even more rare going there at night, but tonight after Perspectives we went to the Otium in DTLA for a friend’s birthday celebration. I’ve known him and his wife for over 40 years. There were 12 of us and I didn’t make the connection of how he chose the guest list until the end…we were all in their wedding party! I was his wife’s maid of honor 35 years ago! It was great to see old friends. To be honest, I do not make much effort in keeping in touch. As I get older and meet more people, there are just too many people to keep up with! But this friend is precious, every time meet up, it’s as if no time has past. I am blessed to have such a friend.

Thank you God, for the rainbow this morning as I arrived at church, reminding me that beauty and creativity come from you and perfected in you.

To celebrate my big birthday, my family surprised me with afternoon tea at the Huntington Library.

It was hard to settle on a date when everyone is available. Today I had extended deacons meeting in the morning, got out at 12:30, ate In n Out and drove out to Huntington Library. We stayed till closing at 5pm. We had lots of laughter and conversations. i asked for the gluten free option for the tea, it wasn’t great. Overall I gave the food 3/5. Not the greatest, but the company was 12/10.

With my family I can be totally myself. I thank God everyday that my kids are doing well, we love each other, enjoy spending time together, exemplify Christ in love and forgiveness of one another. I have to say, they do have to forgive me of a lot. I thought I was a pretty good mom, but as I look back, my shortcomings become apparent. By God’s mercy alone, my kids are doing well walking with God, and they still love me.

After the tea, I was still hungry for dinner. My usual choice of quick comfort food is dumplings or won ton soup. It took us 3 stops before we got to eat. First, Arcadia mall to get dumplings at Din Tai Fung, but the parking lot was crazy full. So we left and went to our 2nd stop, Sam Woo, Rowland Heights, but the parking lot was even worst. Settled back to the Noodle by church which I usually wouldn’t choose to go. Not because I don’t like the food, I love the food. I eat for the experience and since I always go there with the pastors (they like Chinese food), it was not a new experience. But I have to admit, the won ton soup hits the spot.

Thank you God for a great day. Though I was feeling anxious about the deacons meeting, and not knowing the plans for the day, I had to let go, and just take each moment. I am learning not to expect control, not try to plan everything. I’ve only been this way since starting working at church because I feel so responsible in my position on staff. Yet, it should be that working at church in ministry, I can trust God to take of His business. And this I am learning to trust God, for everything in my life. My whole life is His business.

It was a privilege to lead the caring team to visit Muiha today. I am on the “bench” and only asked to lead if none of the other pastors can go 🙂 What a joy to see God’s faithful care on this family. When I asked for one word character of God that you experience, Muiha said – peace! For the devo, I told the story in 1Kings 22, the death of Ahab. It’s hilarious. Ahab is such a comical evil king. God has a great sense of humor.

I wanted to visit a friend who just had a baby, but she was too tired to see people after C-section.

Submitted my Perspectives homework, instead of waiting till Saturday night! That’s because we spent most of the day Monday reading.

Have you had those moments when the Holy Spirit convicts you of your sin? And it’s one of those sins that you know is a sin, and have confessed it, but only on the surface. And the Holy Spirit convicts you of it again when he opens your eyes to see the gravity of it in a different light. And the light bulb comes on…oh the effects of my sin is awful. God showed it to me at prayer meeting tonight.

I am grateful for Psalm 32:3-5

My day yesterday, 2/5/2019

We try to stack all office meetings on Tuesdays so that other days will be open for us to plan for whatever we need to do.

Had English team meeting in the morning, and staff meeting in the afternoon with an hour in between for lunch. By 3pm, with another hour to go at staff meeting, my heart wasn’t in it. My mind was engaged but I felt like I wasn’t in tune with God. It was just a meeting. I want to work on this. No matter what kind of meeting I’m in, I want to be aware of what God is saying, what he’s doing, what he’s saying through our team. The opposite is I insert my opinions, my preferences, and I get critical. That’s not the way I want to be.

I need to rein in my own agenda, and be more sensitive to what God is doing. He already knows what He’s going to do. In John 6:6 Jesus tested Philip but in fact he already knew that he would do a miracle of feeding the 5,000. God doesn’t need my opinions. He will do far more than I can propose or can even imagine.

For Lunar New Year today, we wanted to get a fresh chicken, but the place for that was closed for New Year 😛 Grandma got an organic chicken form Vons instead, without the head and tail. Not very traditional but that’s as close as we can get!

Ikea was the perfect work space today. There’s underground parking so we don’t have to get wet, I get free coffee or tea as an Ikea member, we sat next to the window in the cafe with an open view of the rain. Read my Perspectives book and felt productive. And of course we got meatballs for lunch. And when we get tired, we can choose a bedroom to take a nap…no we didn’t do that. But we did buy a mirror in the clearance section, it was exactly what I was looking for.

We did nothing to celebrate Lunar New Year’s eve. I, in general am not a big fan of cultural traditions, and only do it if it suits me. I’ll go watch fireworks on July 4 because it’s fun. I don’t even do much to celebrate birthdays or anniversaries. But I do believe in celebrating Christian traditions by going to church – Christmas, Good Friday, Easter, and weekly Sabbath is pretty important to me.

So tonight we had steaks for Lunar New Year’s eve, and tomorrow we’ll probably have the traditional chicken with the head and tail intact. Only because we happen to remember.

Did a lot of reading for Perspectives, my brain is so full and tired.

Woke up really tired, but an answered prayer that I didn’t have any weird dreams as I did the past several days. But I missed 8:30am prayer, thinking it would be wise to just rest a bit longer. When I got to church, I saw a surprise present in my office with a note – “OPEN THIS NOW”. It was a pair of gloves with touch screen fingers, just what I wanted! A few weeks ago Lily and I had talked about how our hands always get cold, and she was wearing a pair of those gloves. I am so touched by this gift of love from her!

Children Worship was great. It was a good thing I wasn’t scheduled to speak because I didn’t feel 100%. And Casey’s message was very good.

3rd grade Andrew: do your birds fight?

me: no, they are love birds, they love each other.

A: When they get close together they form a heart shape!

He’s so cute!

I brought my own lunch of salmon and zucchini, my favorite things now that I’m eating low carb.

Perspectives class was great. Main takeaway – Jesus ushered in God’s Kingdom on earth, and we are to advance his kingdom rule to the ends of the world.

Dinner with JH and her bf was great. I was suppose to grill him. I asked a lot of questions, but was afraid to get too personal since this was my first time meeting him. But at the end when I asked how I can pray for him, his requests were quite personal. Now I wish I asked more personal questions.

My vocabulary is rather limited – great seems to be only word I know that rightly describe everything about today.

It was a great day.

This is my post for Friday, 2/1/2019.

Highlights –

Finished scripting, recording and sending out my annual new year update to all who serve in Children Ministry.

Bought fried chicken at 168 Market to have lunch with my friend Janis. We’ve known each other since junior high, she’s my oldest friend. The chicken was good and the fellowship was good. She is an inspiration to me not because she did anything great according to the world’s valuation. She inspires me with her courage and faith after her husband die suddenly of a heart attack about 6 years ago. We are the same age…giving me pause to think that can easily happen to me. Seeing her go through this and coming out of it ready to remarry reminded me that it’s not my our own strength, but by God’s strength alone that we live each day. However, I don’t know if I would want to remarry if I were to be single again. But that’s what Elizabeth Elliot said too, and she married 2 more times after being widowed again after Jim Elliot.

I think this is the record of staying late at church after Awana – I left church at 11pm! Amy and I drove together to church, so while she’s talking to her friends, I started catching up with JH. Hanging out with the young people late at church reminded me of how I used to do that too. Church is great. Grateful to be a part of it.

It was cold, rainy, windy today. It’s not -30C like in Chicago or -50C in Minnesota, but it’s pretty bad for us in SoCal. Why would I go out there, go to church on a Saturday, and stand outside (fortunately under cover) for a few hours?

Because of love, and because it’s a joy. It seemed like a sacrifice, but it’s not a sacrifice.

We scheduled the Awana Grand Prix car woodworking workshop, rain or shine because fortunately our church just installed water-tight covers in the outside patio area. I didn’t have to go, no one was expecting me to go. But I had planned on going. I felt it was my “job”. I want to keep ears to the ground and put my nose in grindstone whenever I can. But in this weather, do I really have to go? It’s not in my job description.

Yes. I wanted to go because I wanted to give my support for the guys who will be there. They will be there early, stay till then end, and then clean up the mess. I can do no less than to go give them my support. And as with everything you do for God, God gives back to you a hundredfold. It was fun to hang out with the people, see a few of the kids come with their parents to work on their car. Had a few good conversations. Church is a family, a community united by oneness in Christ. It is not an organization. I am privileged to be a part of it.

Also privileged to attend the wedding of Julia and Jonathan. I knew of Julia’s parent’s concern for her and have prayed for God to bring Julia a life partner. Today I saw the answer to those prayers. Though I do not know the couple that well, it was a joy to be a part of the church family and see God at work. Rushed out the door to get to the wedding since I was at church and was slowed down by the rain. We were 2 minutes late, but the ceremony started 45 minutes past the time stated on the invite. So I talked to a young man seated next to me while we waited those 45 minutes. I saw him reading the Bible app, asked what he was reading. His men’s group is memorizing 1John together, and he was working on it. What an inspiration. I told him they should start with 3John haha 🙂

Came back and finished my Perspectives homework. It’s hard to keep up with all the reading but I’ve been learning a lot. Looking forward to tomorrow’s class.

My sister texted me – her husband, my brother in law, drove himself to ER for the same issue that occurred over a year ago. His leg lost strength. Last time they diagnosed it as a blood clot. And he missed my son’s wedding. Now they are doing more tests. He’s been waiting for 5 hours! If he’s not sick before he’s certainly sick now! Please, if you can avoid it, stay away from Kaiser Baldwin Park. If anything happens to me, take me to Kaiser Anaheim ER.

My aging issues are aches and pains, particularly my neck. I shouldn’t blame it on age, really, it’s due to inactivity. I don’t exercise to keep limber. And being on the computer like I am now doesn’t help…I’m going to go stretch now.

I’ve not felt this emotional watching an ultrasound of a baby before today.

When ultrasounds were taken when my children were in utero, it was quite matter of fact. I already felt the baby, so listening to the heartbeat from the ultrasound was not a surprise. It was amazing but I don’t remember it being emotional.

But today was different.

I went with a friend to an urgent care appointment because she was experiencing signs of a possible miscarriage. She was early in the pregnancy, so the probability of miscarriage was higher. We didn’t know if we would hear a heartbeat. When the doctor started the ultrasound, we held each other’s hands, praying for God’s will be done.

When we heard the heart beat, nice and loud and even, I burst out crying! We saw a shadow of the baby, the measurements of the size matched the estimated weeks of pregnancy. Feeling so thankful to God for his mercy, for his awesome creative powers, for giving us joy though we deserve nothing.

Amy and I went to our favorite place – Goodwill! Came away with a book and some Christmas gift tags. We also had a good time at Brea Mall and Trader Joe’s.

PTL for a satisfying day.