Stuff That Matters In Life

For some reason, every dream I have about going to the bathroom is a bad dream. I’ve had dreams of bathrooms that are filthy, flooded, with weird shaped toilets, with too many people around, with no doors, with doors that do not lock, with multiple doors that pop open, in a creepy basement, in an old shack on a cliff, in a maze that I can’t find…

Last night, my nightmare bathroom was full of spiders! I was sitting on the toilet fighting off spiders in my hair and crawling up my leg! And I’m allergic to spiders, I said in my dream. (I’m not in real life. I just don’t like them!)

In the meantime, my senior pastor is waiting for me outside in the car to take a group of us to the market. After my ordeal in the bathroom, I went to his Hummer with an open top, apologizing for taking so long, and he was perfectly patient and smiled as he usually does in real life.

I don’t look forward to the next bathroom nightmare.

There are many things in the book Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret that have greatly encouraged me and given me deeper understanding of life in Christ. This biography is written by Howard and Geraldine Taylor, Hudson’s son and daughter in law, a condensed version of a two-volume biography.

Here are some highlights for me:

I am no longer anxious about anything, as I realize this; for he, I know, is able to carry out his will, and his will is mine. It makes no matter where he places, or house. That is rather for him to consider than for me; for in the easiest position he must give me his grace, and in the most difficult his grace is sufficient. p.123

“But are you always conscious of abiding in Christ?” Hudson Taylor was asked many years later. “While sleeping last night,” he replied, “did I ceased to abide in your home because I was unconscious of the fact? We should never be conscious of not abiding in Christ.” p.124

One difficulty follows another very fast…but God reigns, not chance. p.129

John 7:37 ‘If any man thirst, let him come and to me and drink.’ Who does not thirst? Who has not mind–thirsts, heart–thirsts, soul-thirsts or body- thirsts? Well, no matter which, or whether I have them all – ‘Come unto me and’ remain thirsty? Ah no!…, Can Jesus meet my need? Yes, and more than meet it. No matter how intricate my path, how difficult my service; no matter how sad my bereavement, how far away my loved ones; no matter how helpless I am, how deep my soul-yearnings – Jesus can meet all, all, and more than meet…He not only promises me to drink to alleviate my thirst. No, better than that! ‘He who trusts me in this matter (who believeth in me, takes me at my word), out of him shall flow…’ [John 7:38] Can it be? Can the dry and thirsty one not only be refreshed – the parched soil moistened, the arid places cooled – but the land be so saturated that springs well up and streams flow down from it? Even so!…The cause of thirst may be irremediable. One coming, one drinking may refresh and comfort: but we are to be ever coming, ever drinking. No fear of emptying the fountain or exhausting the river! p.129-130

While conversion to Islam is a concern to many Christians, implicit in the study is that birth rate also will play a part in Islam’s accelerated growth. According to Pew Research, Muslims have the highest fertility rate globally – an average of 3.1 children per woman; Christians are second, at 2.7 children per woman. The “replacement” level – the minimum typically needed to maintain a stable population – is 2.1 children per woman. – from OneNewsNow

It makes me sad when Christian couples choose not to have children, or do not want a “large” family: “Oh, one or at most two kids are enough!” Or I see couples wait to have children, and waited too long that the biological clock of the woman catches up and does not allow her to have more than one child. Christians, above all others should value children because God values children. The Bible has nothing negative to say about children.

Yes, I understand it’s a choice. We are not “commanded” by God to have a certain number of children. I am just bothered by the attitude that children are “hard to raise today” or “expensive” or “we want time to ourselves” or “there’s so much we want to do that we can’t do once we have kids” rather than the blessing that God says they are. What if kids will give you more fun than the traveling you want to do? What if kids are the best use of your money than the vacation you are paying for? What if kids will enrich your life more than anything you could be involved in? What if kids are actually worth all the time and energy you invest? Why do people automatically assume that everything else they want to do is better than kids?

Whenever a parent tells me that they are not sure whether or not they should have another child, I tell them that I’ve never heard any parent regret having more kids, but I do hear parents wishing they had more.

Pastor A asked if I would like to read Drucker and Me.  Being that my husband and I are in business, he thought I would like the book. Peter Drucker, known as the guru of management, was required reading in any management class of my generation. I don’t know about now, but his principles and insights still holds true today.

Pastor A gave me one week to read the book. It’s a good thing he did or it would take me months as I like to read several books at one time.

The book, written by Bob Buford who was mentored by Drucker, gave me insights about the mega churches that I didn’t know. Leadership Network is a product of Drucker’s advice to Buford.

While Drucker had a big influence on the growth of mega churches, I didn’t get the sense that he loved the church. I think he loved the idea of what an effective church can do for society, which is not a bad thing. He taught Buford that a well managed church is making the church to be better at what it’s meant to be, not to make it function like a business.

Overall, I liked the book and learned from it. As with all books, I don’t remember much details of what I read. But then, I don’t remember what I ate for dinner last Friday, but I know it nourished and changed me.

From Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:

“Walk by faith, not by sight…When I gave you My Spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural ability and strength. That’s why it is so wrong to measure your energy level against the challenges ahead of you. The issue is not your strength but Mine, which is limitless. By walking close to Me, you can accomplish My purposes in My strength.” – March 11

I love reading missionary biographies such as Gladys Aylward and Hudson Taylor. They accomplished incredible things for God and I wondered, how did they have the physical strength? How did Gladys Aylward walk many days without food and caring for over 100 children? How did Hudson Taylor suffer through the poor conditions of the China interiors? How do many of our present day missionaries find the courage to do those difficult things for God?

I should not measure my abilities with the challenges ahead. I have God’s strength which is limitless.

On leadership: Is it more important what you do or who you are?

“The best thing you can bring to leadership is your own transforming self.” – forgot where I heard that.

I said I would read one book at a time, but I broke that rule. There are so many books I want to read. So I buy them and read a couple of chapters from each.

I bought several Francis and Lisa Chan’s new book You and Me Forever to support their ministry.

Some quotes I like:

Sometimes people are paralyzed by fear of failure. They are so afraid that they might do the wrong thing that they do nothing. We need to learn to err on the side of action, because we tend to default to negligence…. For example: Why not assume you should adopt kids unless you hear a voice telling you not to? That seems more biblical since God has told us that true religion is to care for the widows and orphans (James 1:27) … One reason we don’t err on the side of action is the harsh criticism we receive when we fail. People are quick to point out action that ends badly. But we rarely recognize the sin of omission. We criticize the guy who fed too much sugar to starving children rather than criticizing that thousands who fed them nothing. (p.16)

In a way, if we don’t get it right in our marriage relationships, it won’t really matter how well we do beyond that.

Marriage is a big deal when you think of it that way. God does so much work in our minds and hearts through this relationship. Marriage is one of the most humbling, sanctifying journeys you will ever be a part of. It forces us to wrestle with our selfishness and pride. But it also gives as a platform to display love and commitment. (p.35)

I’m reading/listening to this. Here are some ideas that stood out to me:

“What is leadership itself? What does it mean to lead people?” Here is a simple definition, that leadership at its heart involves change. It involves movement. Leadership is movement. The leaders help people to move from where they are to a better place in the purposes of God.

Leadership is not caretaking. There is nothing wrong with caretaking. The people need to be taken care of, but that’s not the specific task of leadership. People need a leader to help them to move or else they typically won’t move. They’ll typically stay where they are, afraid to move – that’s the way we are. The sheep need a shepherd. 

To build on this, we can see that fundamentally there are two things that leaders do. I know that this is an oversimplification but it’s also a very useful one, to clearly articulate the nature of what it is that leaders do. Leaders think and leaders act. First, the leaders think, because leadership involves movement. Where are we going? Leadership involves definition of direction. Where are we going? Leadership involves definition of direction. Articulation of direction, articulation of means by which we will go there. Leaders think. Leaders are thinking outside of the current situation. They’re looking into the future. They’re looking into the possibilities. Hopefully they’re looking at the face of God and they’re being challenged by Him. They themselves are being challenged personally. And then out of that life comes the direction, the vision, the purpose of God in order to help the people to move there. So, first leaders think – they explore, they think outside of the normal patterns of action, the normal ruts that we find ourselves in for so much of our lives. We need leaders to help us get outside of that. This is the essence of what leaders do.

This is good stuff. I encourage you to read/listen to Healthy Leaders.

I was talking to my pastor today and we are both people with ideas!

If we have unlimited resources in money and manpower, it would be our Disneyland! It would be so fun to do everything that we envision our church can do.

We want our church to have impact, not numbers, a church that builds bridges to the community, not walls, a church that partners with other churches and ministries, not duplicating or competing with other Christians.

All this is up to God to lead and open doors.

And I am excited to see what God will do this year.

Job, in all his suffering, never denied God. Yet, something was missing. It wasn’t enough just to persevere in our believe in God.

In his book on prayer, Tim Keller says,

Throughout most of the great Old Testament book that bears his name, Job cries out to God in agonized prayer. For all his complaints, Job never walks away from God or denies his existence – he processes all his pain and suffering through prayer. Yet he cannot except the life God is calling him to live. Then the skies cloud over and God speaks to Job “out of the whirlwind” (Job 38:1). The Lord recounts in vivid detail his creation and sustenance of the universe and of the natural world. Job is astonished and humbled by this deeper vision of God (Job 40:3–5) and has a breakthrough. He finally prays a mighty prayer of repentance and adoration (Job 42:1–6).

Through prayer we not only accept God’s will for us, but to acknowledge His place as God in our lives.

If  you have the YouVersion Bible app, you know there’s a 14 Days devotional plan by Tim Keller. The selected readings are from his new book.

I am on Day 9.

“The question the book of Job is posed in it’s very beginning. Is it possible that a man or woman can come to love God for himself alone so that there is a fundamental contentment in life regardless of circumstances (Job 1:9)? Yes, this is possible, but only through prayer.”

I find this to be true in my life. Whenever I pray, I have God’s perspective and I can rest in his sovereignty. When I do not pray, I feel out of control and everything seems to depend on me.

Thank you God, for the gift of prayer.

Whenever we experience pain, from a minor headache to a broken rib to a life-threatening disease, our first prayer is for God to take away the pain.

I don’t think that’s right.

As I age, can I expect my life to be pain-free? If my knees hurt and my neck is stiff, isn’t that just a part of growing old in a fallen world? Why should I expect God to answer my prayer to take away “normal” pain in my life?

As C. S. Lewis famously said, “But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Recently I’ve been having indigestion/acid reflux throughout the day. When I began to pray about this, I felt that God must be using this pain to shout to me about something. He’s trying to get my attention. I asked God what it is that He wanted to tell me that I couldn’t hear otherwise.

And He did tell me. I can’t tell you how, but as a follower of Christ of 30+ years, there are times when I “know” what my Lord is telling me. I won’t go into details of what He told me. It wouldn’t make sense to anyone but me. It’s deeply personal actually. It usually is when God speaks to you in a personal way.

My lesson learned is, don’t be too quick to pray for relieve from pain. First ask God, “I know You want to tell me something that I need to know. Can you make it clear to me what it is?” If you don’t sense an answer right away, keep asking. Keep asking until all you are asking is to know God Himself.

Don’t misunderstand. I am not saying it’s wrong to pray for pain to go away. I do pray that too. But it shouldn’t be our first or most urgent prayer.

As Apostle Paul says, “…that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death…”  When God answers that prayer of knowing Him, it is much deeper and more satisfying than relieve from pain.

I think of Joni Eareckson Tada, one of my inspirations. Of all the people who “deserved” to have some relieved from her suffering, Joni should have received healing from God.  Yet she suffers daily chronic pain and she continues to serve her Lord.  If my bit of neck pain gains me a closer walk with God, I can live with that.

I don’t want to call them resolutions. Let’s just say they are notes to self for 2015.

• Read the Bible – each book 20 times.
• Focus my life and daily activities on love. “…the foundation for people-transforming ministry is not sound theology; it is love.” (Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands by Paul Tripp, p117).
• Declutter.
• Laugh more.

There’s one leftover from last year.

• Read one book at a time, finish one book every 2 months.

My theme for 2015 – Kindness. A pleasant disposition and concern for others.

Every time I want to blog, something comes up  – fold the laundry, answer that email, water the plants.

Blogging is one of those things, like exercising, that is a good thing to do and you would actually enjoy it once you start, but you find an excuse to procrastinate. Next thing you know, the day is gone and “there’s always tomorrow.”

I would like to engage my blogging discipline again. When a thought comes, just do it. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it doesn’t even have to make sense. I know I’ll enjoy it once I start.

Raindrops are forming continuous hundreds of thousands of circles on our pool as I look out the window. It reminds me of the simplicity of life. Let’s not make it complicated.

“He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?”

I appear to people my age that I am tech savvy. I have a blog 🙂  I actually don’t know much.

I credit my son and husband for helping me overcome my fear of technology. They help me with everything.

I only know enough to get by and do what I want to do.  And that’s enough for me.

So thank you, son, for helping me engage the 21st century and beyond. Please help me stay connected to the world.

Thank you, hubby, for taking care of all the details in the things that I don’t want to learn.

There were many good reviews of this book, so I was really looking forward to reading it.

The plot itself did not disappoint. However, I found the heroine, a precocious 11-year old written by her in first person, rather annoying. I know the pranks she played on her sisters are suppose to add human interest to the story, but to me, she was rather mean and vengeful. It was hard to put up with her throughout the first half of the book.

The murder mystery part of the book was very good. The resolution was satisfying. But I confess I skipped many parts because it got laborious reading detailed descriptions of people and settings that does not contribute to the mystery.

I give it a 3.75 stars.

Mary Roberts Rinehart is often called the American Agatha Christie. But if The After House is typical of her books, then I am not impressed. NOT Agatha Christie.

I do like Rinehart’s writing style, but the resolution to the mystery was not satisfying. She was a prolific writer, so if the library has anymore of her books, I’ll read another, just to make sure I’m not missing anything.

You know that feeling of coming home after a fun vacation, a let-down of being back to the usual, the mundane, back to the mess you made before you took off for vacation? I’m feeling it now, after a fun 5 days in Seattle.

Here are my reflections about that: It made me realize that I have much to learn to have my JOY anchored in Jesus, not in my circumstances. The “happiness” that I have from my great life is not always true JOY.  If it were I would not lose it. Rather it is happiness based on circumstances that I mistaken for JOY.

I have a great life, no complaints, I love my  regular ordinary life. But I am so satisfied that I don’t seek true JOY. As C.S. Lewis says, ““It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

I make a lot of mud pies.

Too bad my favorite authors are dead. Dorothy Sayers’ books has humor, mystery, character development, and the style that I like.

Strong Poison was fun to read though the ending was not completely satisfying. There were too many coincidences in favor of the good guys. Nevertheless, Sayers is one of my favorite mystery authors.

For the past 1 1/2 years I’ve been pondering how to help parents at my church be the faith leaders in their own home. I know most of them want to, but they don’t know how. Like me, many are first generation Christians, so they did not grow up with parents who modeled that for them.

I’ve held and continue to hold workshops and discussion groups where we open the conversation on hot topics parents face: how to talk to your kids about sex, how to help your kids succeed in school, how to get your kids to be responsible, etc.

No matter what the topic is, the central theme that I try to get across is the same – parents, you need to teach them about God.

Now that’s I’ve read Mark Holmen’s book and also attended his seminar and keynote on how to take faith into the home, my thinking on helping parents be the faith leaders at home is much more clear.

I bought this book, Church + Home because Mark Holmen was one of the speakers at a conference I was looking into attending. I figured if I read the book, I won’t go to the conference, which was several months away. However, the book was sitting on my desk, literally sitting on my desk, for a few months without getting beyond the first chapter. It seemed to be just another book about how the home is lacking with no practical solutions offered.

Then I decided to attend the conference, heard Mark, and I was excited to read the book! The book is much better after I heard Mark speak. His passion for faith at home does not come through enough in the book. He is so much better in person. Even though I could hear him in my mind as I read the book, it really doesn’t make the kind of impact that he made on me in person.

A few quotes:

“Of all the things you can do as a leader in Christ’s church, there is nothing more important than helping to bring Christ and Christlike living into the center of every home.” p.52

“Satan knows just how strong the Church can be when its members gather together around a common vision. It’s like grabbing a handful of pencils and trying to break them all at once – not very easy to do. However, if Satan can divide the family in the Church, it becomes more like breaking a single pencil – which is a lot easier for him to do.” p.81

I highly recommend the book, but if you ever get to hear Mark Holmen live, the book will read much better. I am hoping that God will open the way for him to come speak at our church one day.

P.S.  I emailed Mark with a question and he responded to me within 5 hours!