Stuff That Matters In Life

The thought of a meeting on Saturday morning is not very appealing. However, today’s meeting was good! We ended on time! As it always happens, I felt I should’ve spoken up about an issue – but didn’t know what to say until AFTER the meeting. Oh well, it wasn’t a big thing and maybe if it comes up again, I’ll have my response ready.

Took a short walk with my husband on the Grand Avenue trail, our first time there. It went under Grand Avenue through a creepy tunnel. I would be scared to go there alone! I promised next time I’ll push myself a bit more to go further on the trail before turning  back. I hardly broke a sweat. But then, it usually takes quite a bit to make me sweat. A Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor diagnosed me with low qi and told me to exercise and sweat more. He’s right. I’ll try.

Came back to do Perspectives homework! This whole class of 15 weeks focusing on cross-cultural strategy has a lot of applications for children ministry. Working with children is like communicating with people with a different language, a different worldview, different value system! One section of this week’s reading about strategies to oral learners is particularly relevant. All children are oral learners! They are illiterate! It’s all about telling stories, but in a way that conveys truth, not a fairy tale.

I made this a few weeks ago, thought it was pretty good. Posting this so I’ll remember:

Beef shank

Beef tendon

Daikon

large piece of ginger, smashed

about 6 cloves of garlic, smashed

1 onion, into wedges

1 tomato, cut, highly recommend

2 dried chilies, or more if you want

1 T ketchup, optional

1/4-1/2 cup soy sauce

2 T chu hou sauce (comes in a jar), a game changer

chinese cooking wine

star anise, a must

1 small cinnamon stick, a must

1 T fennel seeds, a must

2 T peppercorns

1/2 tsp 5-spice powder

3 bay leaves

some cumin and coriander seeds, I used powder because I didn’t have any seeds

dried mandarin peel, optional

Instantpot 40 mins, add daikon, cook another 20 mins.

I tend to look at things with an eye to improve it. Which makes me critical and not content.

Let me focus on what I am grateful for today:

Denise, who does an excellent job with whatever I ask her to do. She says, “Just tell me what to do, I’ll do it.” No questions asked.

Able to get up late with no set time to get to the office. I got in at 9:30am today, I know, what a luxury.

Long phone conversation with Stephanie until her phone ran out of battery. She said she came to Children Worship on Sunday for my message because she couldn’t follow the sermon in adult service 🙂

My MIL washed all the dishes. My husband’s brother, her youngest son, is here visiting, but instead of enjoying time with him and her grandkids, she washed dishes. That’s the kind of person she is.

Watching my husband work on Perspectives homework. He has a lot on his mind, and it’s hard for him to keep up, but he’s trying. I nag him, but he did it today without my prompting 🙂

My son and DIL enjoying their time in Japan. They invited us to follow them on their private Twitter to see their pictures. I’m blessed with a good relationship with my children.

Hand me downs from my sister. She has excellent taste in clothes. I’m always excited to get a bag from her, it’s better than shopping, and it’s free!

Niece and nephew that are maintenance free. They are here for a week, and they are really nice kids. They keep themselves occupied with no demands. Ice cream makes them super happy.

At the end of every day, I am sooo thankful for my bed. I love my routine of showering, then sit on my bed to read and pray.

I know the church belongs to God, but since I’m invested in it, I can’t help but have desires for what I hope would happen. And God has accomplished a few of those desires! It doesn’t happen immediately in my timing, but God’s time is always the right time. Here’s what God has done for me:

New water fountains – I know this seems like a small detail, but when I first asked for them, the response was not enthusiastic. Now, several years later, we have new water fountains! Recently a children’s pastor from a nearby church came to visit. I showed him our new water refill fountain. “This is what I want for our church! How did you get this done?” he asked. Very slowly, I told him. In God’s time, miracles do happen. And it wasn’t anything I did to make it happen. I know this sounds crazy, but this water fountain is to me a symbol that God is at work, but in his time and in his way.

A Family Pastor – when I was interviewing for my position, I told the committee my passion was parenting. The church sees a strong children ministry as foundational for growth of the church. But without intentional help for parents, children’s ministry can only go so far. Since then I’ve been reading up on family ministry, attended a couple of conferences, did a few things in our children’s department to forward FM. But honestly, I didn’t get very far. While the staff was supportive, there was not a sense of movement towards FM. I didn’t know how to move it either. Now, a few years later, intergenerational ministry is in our vision statement, and we called a Family Pastor on staff! And not only that, he and I see eye to eye on almost everything. He is doing a much better job than I could’ve imagined or could’ve done myself. He says he is here to accomplish all my dreams. And it’s true. God is giving me my desires.

A graphic designer on staff – I want the children ministry material to look good! Good design is effective communication, not distracting to the message. I am not artistic, but I know what I like and what I don’t like. My daughter would do the design stuff I need for church, but there’s a limit to what she can do. And now, we have a part-time designer on staff! That just doesn’t happen in a Chinese church! And not only that, we’ve been hoping for this exact person to become available (who may be reading this post right now!) God opened what I thought was impossible door to crack.

No white hair – When I first came on staff, I was 52. I saw a few white hairs starting to show. My sisters started coloring their hair in their 40’s. I don’t want to color my hair. I asked God to hold back the white hairs for a couple of years so I don’t look so old to the kids. Eight years later, I still only have a few white hairs. I see a few more coming in just recently, but I’m ok with it. God already gave me more years than I expected. People are amazed that I’ve never colored my hair. It’s a miracle, it’s God’s grace to me. I hadn’t thought of this recently until I happen to tell someone today in conversation why I don’t need to color my hair. That reminder prompted this post.

I give glory to God for all He’s done. When I’m tired, I think back on these and more, and am grateful and humbled to be here today.

I missed Costco today.

Instead of our usual date to Costco, my husband and I spent our day preparing our house for a week’s visit from his brother and 2 children.

When I say prepare the house, I don’t mean clean the house. I mean just get one room ready, and take stuff off our dining room table. Fortunately, the bathrooms were clean already. We tend to wait the last hours to clean up before people come over. And just in time, the room was ready by the time they arrived at 5:30pm.

I love to cook, but lately I’ve been feeling tired, and don’t feel like taking the extra efforts to cook the food better. I get 6 hours of sleep but 7 or 8 would make me feel better. I think I need a vacation. And in fact, we have one planned.

I can squeeze in one week in May for some time off – after Perspectives and before the next children ministry training workshop. We booked a flight to Hawaii! Reasonable fares before the high season starts in June. We were there over 20 years ago. I don’t love to travel, and the thought of going causes me some anxiety. But it’s easy to maneuver around Hawaii and you can’t go wrong. Even if we don’t do anything but walk around the beach, I’ll be happy. We don’t have to pack our schedule.

We had the opportunity to go to Italy with friends, but it would mean missing 2 sessions of Perspectives. And if I go to another country like that, I’d want to pack the schedule.

Another encouraging Sunday: taught in Children Worship. Before I started to speak, one of the girls asked me, “How was your week, Auntie Katy?” So cute. Delivering the message in Children Worship is probably one of my favorite things. I now know how a pastor feels preaching to his congregation.

Was encouraged talking to Andrea about Good News Club. Her and her husband’s obedience to God’s call to serve is affirmation to me that God’s will done in God’s way is never short of God’s supply. I will seriously pray about Good News Club at Ybarra.

Got a quick lunch with my family – wow that’s a first! I usually never see them on Sunday at church. I’m usually busy in a meeting or catching up with people.

Post Perspectives dinner – ramen. I haven’t had that for a long time because I cut out wheat from my diet. But for the fellowship I went. I gave most of my noodles to one of the guys. Got to talk to our speaker, which was a big blessing.

I was expecting 40ish people at today’s children ministry training. More than 60 came out! I am so encouraged by their desire to grow and be equipped. I thank God for their partnership in the gospel. Their willingness to come out on a Saturday morning is a sign to me that God is at work in our church. “Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God.”

Went Goodwill hunting with my daughters. I didn’t buy anything, but Audrey found maternity pants. They were the 50% off tag on top of the price, perfect condition, good finds!

Face masks & Perspectives homework. Perspectives is taking over my life, but I will truly miss it when it’s over. But will also be glad that I can go back to reading the stack of books waiting next to my bed.

Hudson Taylor was convicted that God wanted him to get more workers to China. But knowing the dangers and difficulties, he feared that it would his responsibility if they break down, and “bitterly reproach me for having encouraged them to undertake an enterprise for which they were unequal.” Their blood would be on his hands.

Finally, after much agonizing, “I told Him that all the consequences must rest with Him, that as His servant, it was mine to obey and follow Him – His, to direct, to care for, and to guide me and those who might labor with me.”

To a lesser degree, I feel this responsibility for those whom I ask to serve with me. Even in small matters, such as asking Sunday School teachers to come early, or come to training on a Saturday, I feel I am taking away their family time, or making them sacrifice, or make them tired if they have to wake up early. I don’t want to put extra burdens on people to help with childcare, or help bring snacks, or come early to set up. They may “bitterly reproach me for having encouraged them to undertake an enterprise for which they were unequal.” And if they don’t want to do it, I don’t want them to feel guilty. That would not set them on a right relationship with God.

Today I learned as Taylor said, all consequences must rest with God. He is in control, let him take care of the people. I do my part to ask for what I believe is right and needs to be done for God’s service. I’ll have to leave the consequences to God.

Delicious corn beef for dinner, so good! I look forward to this every year. Bought a second corn beef for later so I don’t have to wait for next March 17th for another delicious meal.

Another case of me not being a good planner with no mind for details: I planned a training for this Saturday many months ago. The most important part was getting the speaker and get the publicity going. I got that. Thought I was done. Then now, 4 days before the event, I haven’t arranged for the recording, I didn’t ask people to help with setting up the room, I haven’t thought of getting snacks, I didn’t ask for sign ups (I figured people can just come, but then I don’t know how much snacks to buy), I’m scrambling for childcare (though this is optional, it would be a nice service to those with babies). I want a team of people who would love to do this stuff. I promise, I’ll have that team ready for training set for next month! Keeping my fingers crossed that God will provide them.

An ADHD child today at church was a challenge. I have zero experience with special needs children.

In high school I considered being a Special Ed teacher. But after visiting a SPED school, I couldn’t handle facing their disabilities. It was too depressing.

At church now as God brings us a few children with special needs, I still don’t know the proper way to help them. My only concern with the boy with ADHD was to keep him safe, keep him from running out of the room, which was an impossible task. We are not professionals and we do not know how to handle him.  He doesn’t respond to reason, to authority, or any kind of urging. His mother did not know what to do either. There is only one way to help, that is to pray. I haven’t prayed enough for the children. I need more people to pray for the children.

When people ask me what help I need in Children Ministry, I used to say we need more Awana Leaders, or nursery helpers. Now I say I need people to pray. But people don’t take me seriously. They expect to help in a “practical” way. That’s how American Christians think. In Taiwan, Christians seem to take prayer more seriously.

Young married couples fellowship today was encouraging. I thank God for their encouragement to me even though I am suppose to be the mentor.

I struggled in preparing for the message for Awana tonight. The theme is courage, Joshua 1:9. I didn’t want to teach the usual that the children have heard many times. Praise God He gave me a message about Paul’s courage. After thinking about it since last week, I made the final revision this afternoon and gave the message tonight. The children were all engaged, it went well. A leader told me that the message spoke to her, she needs courage in serving more. That was a big blessing.

When my teaching goes well, I know it is God’s work through me. I would like to think I am naturally talented, but I know I’m not. Whenever I start to pat myself on the back, I remember Deuteronomy 8, it is God who gives us the ability to produce. Thank you God, for affirming the leadership position I’m in. You put me in this position, and you help me do what you’ve called me to do. Apart from you, I can do nothing.

Stayed around church talking to people till almost 10:30pm. I like it when no one wants to leave. My old church was like that too. I’ll have a day of rest tomorrow to prepare for Sunday.

Since my daughter is in Orlando for the Ligonier Conference, I decided to listen to some of it on FB Live. The theme is Holiness.  This stood out:

God does not bless great talent so much as Christlikeness.

A holy believer is an awesome weapon in the hand of God. Regardless of your IQ.

God chooses to use holy vessels.

We SAY we believe in this, but we don’t really make leadership decisions based on this. We follow the ways of the world.

We look for talent, abilities, charisma. I am impatient with incompetent people. I am angry at my own incompetence. I wish I was more talented and smarter.

I should instead work on my holiness, not only my effectiveness.

Finished all my Perspectives reading today. And finished preparing for Awana message for tomorrow. Urgent tasks done, now I can work on ongoing projects.

(Posted on March 12)

I’ve got another wreath under my belt. This is my third. It all started at Christmas when my DIL asked if I wanted to make a Christmas wreath with her. She bought all the material. We got cuttings from our Christmas tree, watched a few youtube tutorials, and made our first fresh wreath.

This wreath I made today is from cuttings of lavender from my friend Denise’s yard. But I needed more filler, so I cut some branches from our neighbor’s tree that hung over our wall. The thing about wreaths that I like is that it doesn’t have to be perfect. It looks nice no matter what, even if it’s a bit uneven. And I like bringing in a bit of the outdoors. A friend commented that I have a lot of plants. I never thought of it that way. My plants are not all nicely displayed. I just pot them and put them on the table. I’ll have to work on display. But I’m too cheap to buy nice pots.

The only problem with wreath making is, I have to forage for more material. I usually take a bit off a plant that I like and see how long it lasts. There are some nice green stuff at church, but they wilt within a day. The foliage have to look decent for at least 3-4 days.

My daughter left for Florida for the Ligonier conference tonight – midnight flight. I am proud of her and grateful to God for giving her a strong desire to know God. I love Bible conferences too, so perhaps she takes after me. But now with everything online, I can still hear the messages, though it’s not the same. But too much knowledge is dangerous.

Sometimes weekend doesn’t seem like “weekend” to me. My “weekend” day off is Monday.

But yesterday, Saturday, finally felt like a weekend. I made some paleo nut bars that I’ve been wanting to make. I took a walk to relax. Then my family met up for dinner. We don’t eat out much so going out to eat always feels like a “weekend”, it’s something special. Even though I did a bit of “work” to prepare for Sunday, it didn’t feel demanding.

Today, Sunday, was a fun day too. I didn’t have to teach. I mean, teaching is fun too, but it is a bit of stress with my attention entirely focused. A day of no teaching is sort of a day off. I caught up with people. The Ministry Fair was no stress. I like events where I am not involved in the planning; I can merely show up and do my part. Everything for the Ministry Fair was all set up nicely for me. I didn’t even have to make a sign. I just show up and talk to people, which is my greatest joy and easy for me.

The thing I do miss is worship. I used to attend evening service at another church. But I haven’t done so since my sabbatical. I also have Perspectives class which makes it impossible to go to evening service. It’s also winter where I am not motivated to go out at night.

Perspectives class is my source of learning and edification right now. Today’s lesson was again both convicting and enjoyable. A few quotes that spoke to me:

Don’t let the enemy stop you. Say no to his lies.

Say yes to God, and put one foot in front of the other.

I love to listen to podcasts. I can multi-task: listen to a sermon while cleaning the bathroom, learn about apologetics while stretching.

Today PT and I recorded a podcast. It’s harder than it sounds. Found so many ways to improve when we listen to ourselves. But I wanted to do this, and got PT into it, because I think it’s a good way to communicate a message. We want to forward the vision of our church so listeners can join in God’s mission for our church. They only hear the vision once a week, how can they really understand it? I’m excited about what God is doing at our church and hope the podcast can help people see that too. And I hope our future podcasts will be better!

So much rain recently, bad for my bones. I have aches and pains, another sign of aging. That’s life; thank God I have hope that one day in heaven all pain and suffering will cease. I’m that much closer to heaven.

We had internet issues at home last night. Posting this from yesterday.

I am reminded once again that God is in control. He is good and he answers prayers.

Prayers are not about getting them answered the way we want, but answers that bring glory to God, and accomplishes His purposes.

Just in brief, so I will remember this later, my dear friend SP’s baby died in utero at 14 weeks, but she did not want to do a D & C as the doctor recommended. She decided to trust God and wait for a natural miscarriage. She held on to the baby in her womb for two weeks. Then God answered in His timing in a miraculous way.

Today, she did end up with a D & C, so where is the answered prayer? Where is the miracle?

By waiting, the doctor changed his heart. As a doctor who performs abortions, SP’s doctor initially told her she cannot see the baby, “the fetus” is only “tissues”. But upon SP’s insistence to wait so she can deliver her baby whole, and be given the chance to hold and kiss the baby she named Uriah, the doctor said today he will try to take the “baby” out whole. He said BABY. An abortion doctor said a 14 week old in the womb is a BABY. That is a miracle. His change is a miracle. He took the baby out all intact except for a tear of one arm which he tried to reattach. And God answered SP’s prayer to see hold and kiss Uriah. And not only that, I believe He is doing something in the heart of that doctor.

I am praying that this doctor will not be able to rest. I pray that God give him dreams and show Himself to this doctor as a God who forgives repentant sinners, but will not let evil doers go unpunished.

I listened to a coaching podcast advising people to take small steps towards a goal. The feeling of a small win would encourage us to keep moving forward. The example of the host was to exercise. Instead of getting discouraged and mad at herself that she’s not exercising, she started with just setting her running shoes out every morning. That was doable and it felt good. Then she got up half an hour earlier every morning. Another pat on the back. Pretty soon, since she was up anyway, she started putting the shoes on and going outside.. Six months later she ran a half-marathon!

So my first step today towards cleaning up my home office: I got out an empty box, to be used to put stuff that I don’t want.Then I took an old Uno Attack game, emptied the old batteries, and put it in the giveaway pile.  I’m happy I did that. Whenever I look at my messy office I don’t know what to do. Now I can just take a step at a time. Cleaning up and dealing with details is not my thing. But I want to simplify my life of clutter, so I must take steps forward. I even threw away some photos today that do not spark joy. So instead of being disgusted at myself for not cleaning up the office, I pat myself on the back for taking a step.

My husband got what he wanted from Costco today – ice cream bars. I got what I wanted – crispy coconut rolls. I know, there’s sugar in it that I’ve cut out of my diet, but these are worth it.

In Children’s Worship today:
Me: Jesus knew he would one day go back to heaven. He needed to choose disciples who would continue to do his work. What kind of person should he choose?
3rd grade boy: Me!

Perspectives class was great. The speaker did a first person of Hudson Taylor, my hero. Went out to dinner with the group afterwards. I went strictly for the company and definitely not for the food because I would never choose to go to Souplantation. I eat keto and there’s nothing I can eat there. I will probably suffer some digestive symptoms tomorrow. Fortunately I had a big shabu shabu lunch with a good amount of meat.

A parent asked me to have lunch with her today to give her advice for her teenage daughter. Throughout the lunch I was praying for wisdom. I don’t want to give my own opinions and I don’t want to give bad advice. I thank God that more than once in our conversation, I felt God gave me the words to say.

Just got an email from a Sunday School teacher with a problem I need to solve before next Sunday! I’m not going to think about it and get rest tomorrow my day off.

A well-meaning young lady at church asked me with all sincerity, “Do you work everyday? What do you do all day?”

Before I started working full time in ministry, I had the same thought about what pastors do. Yes, I know it takes a long time to prepare a sermon, and then what?

Now I know, there’s so much to do I don’t have enough time. And often it’s not the amount of time, it’s the thinking and that takes endless amount of time. And my mind doesn’t stop when I leave the church.

This week, I hardly had time to prepare my sermon for the children. It’s not something I can just sit and whip up. It takes thought and care. Phone calls and texting, visits to people, meetings, talking to people to work out schedules, planning for next steps, coordinating, developing and implementing ways to be more effective in children’s ministry. It’s the kind of work that you can’t just finish. There’s always more to do. It’s a creative process that is ongoing. Everything is based on relationships and connections. I suppose there are people who are more efficient doing what I do. I’m not that person.

Yeah, I don’t even know how to explain what I do all day. Preparing for the sermon is only a small part.

I left Awana early because I have an early meeting tomorrow. And I want to do my Perspectives reading.

An ultrasound did not detect the heartbeat of the baby.

This is the second time this year I accompanied a mom to an ultrasound. The first one was joyous with results we hoped for. This one was not what we hoped for. We cried, yet, there’s hope. I sensed the parent’s peace. We know our babies are in heaven with Jesus, right now, praising God.

Read Psalm 139 as a baby singing this psalm –

For You formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand, I awake, and I am still with You.

God’s Word brought peace, and even a bit of joy with the assurance that we will be praising God together with our babies in heaven.