Every time I’m asked to speak, I get very excited about it. I often think I have knowledge about the topic, plus I do more reading and research about it, and I feel confident.
Then as soon as I think I’ve got a handle on the topic, I begin to feel like I know nothing. How can I be so arrogant to think that I know something? Have I lived my life according to the principles I’m teaching? (That’s a rhetorical question.) Am I wasting people’s time, an hour of their life they’ll never get back?
Every time I teach, I am humbled. It drives me to examine myself, and be convicted of my own shortcomings. I am no expert, I’ve made many mistakes, I haven’t lived up to what I’m preaching.
I am once again begging for mercy from God, and turn to totally rely on Him.
Lest anyone thinks teaching is easy for me – because to me standing and talking in front of an audience is the easy part – the inner work of exposing my own weaknesses is the hardest of all in teaching.
Every time I teach, I do it with fear and trembling.
(I am preparing to teach 5 times in the next several weeks. Pray for me.)
I found your blog because I am doing some research for my class on Monday that I teach for the women’s group at my church. I totally hear what you are saying — teaching is such a humbling experience. For me, though, I struggle with getting up in front of the audience, not so much of the exposing of myself. Anyway, I pray the Holy Spirit would descend upon you, that you would be completely enraptured by His voice, His Word, His love, as you plan and teach.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement!